Deciding to end our fertility treatments was one of the hardest and easiest decisions of my life. Tyler and I had many discussions between us, with our friends, family and doctors before we decided that treatments were not the right path for us. I want to begin by making it clear that I feel the medical advances in fertility treatments are amazing and a wonderful opportunity for all those longing to fill their empty arms. We are both extremely thankful for the experience of fertility treatments; even though we did not end the experience with a bundle of joy we think the journey was an important one.

Since the beginning of our family planning we knew we wanted to adopt. There are so many amazing children in the world and we would love to open our hearts, home and family to children who need those things in their lives. Initially we decided to try to conceive a biological child so I could experience being pregnant at least once; it is a miracle that we all take for granted. Throughout our journey we both experienced different winks and nudges from God guiding us towards the world of adoption. However, we are both human and stubborn and it is not always easy to let go of our own plans and dreams in order to follow the path God has laid out for us. We soon came to know that becoming pregnant was not an important goal to either of us anymore, having a family was the only goal we were working towards and we were open to building that family in whatever ways God has planned for us. After our last disastrous IVF cycle we decided that we were done chasing our own plans and that it was time we fully embraced the beauty of adoption and the path God was leading us down.  So great, there is a new plan and it is adoption, that should be simple enough. Ha- Ha-Ha. Oh, how foolish of us. Adoption is as complicated as fertility treatments and even more expensive. We were at a loss where to even begin.

When you decide you want to adopt the first questions you have to answer are some big ones; domestic or international adoption, do you care about gender or race, what age child do you wish to adopt and last but definitely not least how on earth are we going to afford this? Adoption costs range widely from less than $5,000 for foster-to-adopt up to $80,000 for international adoptions. I don’t know about the rest of the world but on one income while I finish college we definitely do not have $50,000 stashed anywhere. Believe me, I checked. Believe it or not those questions are just the tip of the iceberg, but answering them can (in theory) guide you to the right resources. These questions were hard for us to work through because my answer is this, “I will take any baby from anywhere and be as happy as can be”. Not exactly a helpful answer when it comes to narrowing down our options, my poor husband. We are still gathering information but I think we have narrowed the following aspects down: we want to do domestic adoption of an infant; we do not care about race or gender. We eventually want to do foster care to adopt to build the majority of our family. We would like to experience having an infant at some point so that is what has guided us to infant adoption first and then foster-care to adopt for ages 2 and under as our next step.

The next decision we need to address is when we want to start the process. We are thinking over the next year we will slowly put our nursery together and start saving money and fundraising to be able to afford to adopt. This will allow us to start the adoption process sometime after I graduate in December. So here is where we are currently: we are moving next week, researching adoption fundraising, and I am attempting to unbury myself from the piles of homework that surround me. Keep an eye out for fundraising updates and nursery updates.

P.S. Any fundraising ideas would be greatly appreciated. 

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