In the last few months I have noticed an interesting trend. Tyler and I are new to Chambersburg and Pennsylvania so we are meeting new people every day. During introductions the topic of course comes up; “What do you do?” I have noticed a strange combination of responses to my short answer: “I am a housewife”. Women especially have amazed me. Almost every woman has responded in the same way, a look of shock and anger followed by a snide comment (“That must be nice”, “I could never sit home all day”, “Aren’t you bored?”).  First of all ladies; really, stop attacking and belittling each other. Life is hard enough.  Additionally, more than this bizarre response I have noticed what it triggers within me. I immediately find myself rushing to justify that choice by explaining that we are adopting through foster care and during that transition we want to offer as much stability as possible for them. I have stopped doing this, why do I need to justify the choices we have made for our family? Everyone does what they believe is best for their family and this is what we feel is best.  Why does our choice make so many people angry? Our culture is so quick to base our estimation of a person’s character, heart and intelligence based solely on how they pay their bills. I catch myself doing it to others and obviously even to myself. It comes so naturally I do not think we even stop to think about it. This reaction has become so engrained in our subconscious, the very limited notion that what you do as a career is who you are as a person. I could stop these people who are offended by my choice and tell them I am simultaneously working on finishing a degree in special education and another in counseling. I could tell them I am also a writer who is currently working on two very different novels. I could tell them that I truly believe raising your children well is the most important thing you can accomplish. I could explain that we made this choice knowing we would be financially limited but rich in many other ways. I could describe the many ways I volunteer in our community and help those around us. I do not need to tell them any of those things. Anyone who immediately dismisses me based off my career choice does not need to be welcomed into my world or shown who I am as a whole. In the grand scheme of things it was not too long ago that my choice was the preferred choice, becoming a housewife was simply what women did, often because they were not given any other options. Today we are lucky enough that few doors are closed to women today, and those that are can be rammed open by determined effort. So in this world of choices why can we not embrace the choices everyone makes as an acceptable or honorable choice? I have done the looking within myself to see why the reaction I get impacts me so much. Now I simply extend grace to everyone and take the disgusted reactions in stride. I am a housewife, that is not all I am and it is not a bad thing to choose to do with my life. I have a lot I would like to accomplish in my life and the most important part of that life right now is my focus on raising our children and welcoming them into our home and family. 

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