Tag Archive: Waiting


We all have our weaknesses, things we never seem to master or do well. Waiting patiently is something I am not sure I will ever master. In certain situations I have more patience than is reasonable, however those situations almost always involve me trying to keep the peace or a situation where my impatience will hurt someone else. When it comes to being patient with myself or with my own life, well now that is a whole other kettle of vegetables (the vegetarian version of a kettle of fish). I think I need to accomplish things instantly or I become frustrated with myself and when I feel ready for something new to happen in my life I want it to happen on my timeline. Oh what a silly human I am sometimes. I know and truly believe that everything happens in the right time for God’s grand plan and that His plans are always so much better than my own. I cannot seem to remember this fact when I am expected to wait for something though. I am never sure what to do while waiting. I just get antsy and that is a feeling I do not enjoy. I am currently very antsy because I am being forced to wait on a number of fronts.

“The Wait”; that is where we currently find ourselves in our family building journey. We have completed all of our paperwork (some of it more than once because it got lost) and now we have to wait for our final background checks before we can complete our interview and home study. After those steps are completed we are certified and our adoption/foster care can finally truly begin. Unfortunately we are a month in to the wait for our out of state background checks. In Pennsylvania if you have lived in any other state in the last five years you then need to do a background check for each of those states as well. The process for those background checks has a lot of steps.

  • Step 1: We fill out the forms
  • Step 2: The forms are checked by our agency
  • Step 3: The agency sends the forms to the state of PA
  • Step 4: PA sends the forms to the necessary states
  • Step 5: That state then begins the process of the background check
  • Step 6: Once the background check is complete the approval has to follow  the same path back  to our agency

That is a lot of people to trust not to lose the paperwork and a lot of bureaucratic hoops for one set of forms to jump through. The most frustrating part is that nothing can move forward with our adoption/foster care until this process is over and there is nothing we can do to speed it up. So the house is ready and the paperwork is done, we have made a family flyer and we are all ready to go. As soon as we are allowed to proceed we are ready to finalize our certification.

We are now experiencing the worst part of the adoption process “The Wait”, it is enough to drive a person crazy. When you are expecting a child naturally you know roughly when the child will arrive, how many children there will be and in this day and age most people even know the gender of the baby. Most importantly, you know the child will arrive as an infant. When adopting through foster care and leaving your options open you do not know when the child(ren) will arrive, how many children there will be, the age of the child(ren), or the gender of the child(ren). That leaves your mind with no way to mentally prepare for your new child(ren) to come into your heart and home.  Oh the variables. Our plan to survive the wait was to stay busy and prepare our home as much as possible. I deep cleaned, baby proofed and organized every room in our house and I prepared every kids room as much as possible until we know the age and or gender of the children that will be living in those rooms.

ImageImageImageImage

The next step to surviving the wait was going to be painting all the rooms of our home. I do not like white walls and every room in our new home has white walls or old fashioned wallpaper. I was able to begin the painting and then there was apparently another plan in the works. In the middle of the fun wait period life threw us another curve ball just to keep things interesting.

Image

 I have been training to run The Color Run 5K in DC next month and I have been enjoying living in the mountains by hiking whenever possible. Last week while hiking I tripped over a rock and hurt my knee. The Urgent Care Doctor said I may have torn some cartilage in my knee and that it was probably badly sprained as well. He said I should see an Orthopedic Surgeon if it did not improve with rest while using the crutches. I have had knee surgery twice before (I am klutzy) and I know what various types of knee pain typically mean. My knee is not improving and it looks like I will need surgery to repair the damage. This may add another delay in our adoption, not to mention I am not a person who sits and rests well. I go see the Orthopedic on Tuesday and I am hoping we can resolve this as quickly as possible to inflict minimal disruption to our adoption process.

I am still trying to stay busy, as much as possible while unable to walk without crutches. I am also using this time to remind myself that God has a plan in mind and whenever our hoop jumping (or crutching) days are over we will welcome the most amazing little miracles into our family. In the meantime I guess I will sit here and wait as there are not many other options available. The quickest way to somewhere you want to be is to travel the path in front of you.  I guess I will just be traveling that path on crutches for a while. 

Image

Advertisements

“God’s timing is perfect”. How many times have we all heard this phrase and how many times have we said this to others? It is a fundamental truth we all repeat back to one another throughout life, mainly because we all seem to forget. I know I should probably be reminded at least twenty times a day. It is hard for us to remember because it is human nature to want things to happen on our own timeline. This has never been truer for me then when it comes to having children. If I had my way then about three seconds after we were married we would have welcomed home our first baby and at this point (closing in on our third year of marriage) we would have two- three children making our life an adventure. God has had other plans for us. In retrospect I am glad we had a year or two of married life without kids to allow us both time to enjoy being in love and married. At this point we are so ready for kids I keep hoping one will spontaneously appear in the soon-to-be nursery. Alas, that has not occurred yet.

We have been working towards finding our babies, we know they are out there somewhere waiting for us to come find them and shower them with love. We have always said that the majority of our family would be built through foster care to adopt. When our latest baby in the family was born, our nephew Micajah, we discussed our options and came to the fact that at some point we really want to bring a baby home from the hospital. Not for every child we will have, but at least once. We began to look into adoption agencies for infant adoption. Oy with the craziness. We also knew we wanted to open our home to a child here in the United States, because we know there are countless children right here that need a loving home. We thought we had found the perfect agency in PA with low cost and short wait times and to make things even better it is a Christian Agency. However, that did not pan out. We apparently live forty minutes too far from the main office. Forty minutes. That was hard to take. So we began our search again and it seems as though every agency we find now has costs nearing $50,000 and a year or two year wait. This is heart breaking news to me. We would need a year or two to even come close to $50,000 so that would mean we are looking at close to four years before we have a baby. This has led us to renew looking into our foster care to adopt plans.

Foster care, that is totally easy to get into right? No, false, we were wrong. I was under the impression I would simply Google “Chambersburg and foster care” and I would find all the information we need. That was so naïve, I want to travel back a few days and have a serious wake-up/heart-to-heat with myself. I am struggling to locate the foster care agencies to begin with and then I am hearing back from them that many only have older children (8 and up). We are willing to eventually adopt older children but we are not at a point where we can do that yet. We are still waiting for information to come in from a few sources.

It is hard not to be discouraged with so many no’s coming back to us and mounting costs associated with traditional adoption. But what is that old truth again?? Oh yes, “God’s timing is perfect”.  Maybe I need to start saying that to myself over and over again all day long. All we can do is keep our prayers going, keep searching and trust God to bring us to the right agency in the right time to find our baby. With each “no” we hug each other tight, say a prayer and move on to the next search. Each time hoping that this will be the one.