We all have our weaknesses, things we never seem to master or do well. Waiting patiently is something I am not sure I will ever master. In certain situations I have more patience than is reasonable, however those situations almost always involve me trying to keep the peace or a situation where my impatience will hurt someone else. When it comes to being patient with myself or with my own life, well now that is a whole other kettle of vegetables (the vegetarian version of a kettle of fish). I think I need to accomplish things instantly or I become frustrated with myself and when I feel ready for something new to happen in my life I want it to happen on my timeline. Oh what a silly human I am sometimes. I know and truly believe that everything happens in the right time for God’s grand plan and that His plans are always so much better than my own. I cannot seem to remember this fact when I am expected to wait for something though. I am never sure what to do while waiting. I just get antsy and that is a feeling I do not enjoy. I am currently very antsy because I am being forced to wait on a number of fronts.
“The Wait”; that is where we currently find ourselves in our family building journey. We have completed all of our paperwork (some of it more than once because it got lost) and now we have to wait for our final background checks before we can complete our interview and home study. After those steps are completed we are certified and our adoption/foster care can finally truly begin. Unfortunately we are a month in to the wait for our out of state background checks. In Pennsylvania if you have lived in any other state in the last five years you then need to do a background check for each of those states as well. The process for those background checks has a lot of steps.
- Step 1: We fill out the forms
- Step 2: The forms are checked by our agency
- Step 3: The agency sends the forms to the state of PA
- Step 4: PA sends the forms to the necessary states
- Step 5: That state then begins the process of the background check
- Step 6: Once the background check is complete the approval has to follow the same path back to our agency
That is a lot of people to trust not to lose the paperwork and a lot of bureaucratic hoops for one set of forms to jump through. The most frustrating part is that nothing can move forward with our adoption/foster care until this process is over and there is nothing we can do to speed it up. So the house is ready and the paperwork is done, we have made a family flyer and we are all ready to go. As soon as we are allowed to proceed we are ready to finalize our certification.
We are now experiencing the worst part of the adoption process “The Wait”, it is enough to drive a person crazy. When you are expecting a child naturally you know roughly when the child will arrive, how many children there will be and in this day and age most people even know the gender of the baby. Most importantly, you know the child will arrive as an infant. When adopting through foster care and leaving your options open you do not know when the child(ren) will arrive, how many children there will be, the age of the child(ren), or the gender of the child(ren). That leaves your mind with no way to mentally prepare for your new child(ren) to come into your heart and home. Oh the variables. Our plan to survive the wait was to stay busy and prepare our home as much as possible. I deep cleaned, baby proofed and organized every room in our house and I prepared every kids room as much as possible until we know the age and or gender of the children that will be living in those rooms.
The next step to surviving the wait was going to be painting all the rooms of our home. I do not like white walls and every room in our new home has white walls or old fashioned wallpaper. I was able to begin the painting and then there was apparently another plan in the works. In the middle of the fun wait period life threw us another curve ball just to keep things interesting.
I have been training to run The Color Run 5K in DC next month and I have been enjoying living in the mountains by hiking whenever possible. Last week while hiking I tripped over a rock and hurt my knee. The Urgent Care Doctor said I may have torn some cartilage in my knee and that it was probably badly sprained as well. He said I should see an Orthopedic Surgeon if it did not improve with rest while using the crutches. I have had knee surgery twice before (I am klutzy) and I know what various types of knee pain typically mean. My knee is not improving and it looks like I will need surgery to repair the damage. This may add another delay in our adoption, not to mention I am not a person who sits and rests well. I go see the Orthopedic on Tuesday and I am hoping we can resolve this as quickly as possible to inflict minimal disruption to our adoption process.
I am still trying to stay busy, as much as possible while unable to walk without crutches. I am also using this time to remind myself that God has a plan in mind and whenever our hoop jumping (or crutching) days are over we will welcome the most amazing little miracles into our family. In the meantime I guess I will sit here and wait as there are not many other options available. The quickest way to somewhere you want to be is to travel the path in front of you. I guess I will just be traveling that path on crutches for a while.